The Unintended Consequences
by lancer365
Summary: Secrets always have a habit of eventually getting out; no matter how hard people try to keep them quiet. When Bataar Sr. finds out about his wife's affair, hurtful words are said and emotions flare to a new intensity. But even with the destroying aftermath of her affair, Suyin still struggles between the choices of love and morality.
1. The Aftermath- part 1

**The Unintended Consequences**

Kuvira walked to the door of Suyin's bedroom, holding the metal chest plate of her uniform in one of her hands. Using her other hand, she metal bended the door open as she continued to move towards the door way. Jarred to a sudden stop, Kuvira felt her skin tingle as the matriarch ran a hand down from the top of her shoulder to her forearm.

"Wait a minute." Suyin said, pulling on Kuvira's arm to drag the younger woman away from the open door with a playful grin widening on her face. "Where are you escaping to in such a hurry?"

Kuvira turned around to meet Suyin's eyes, as she was still being pulled back further into the room.

She wasn't escaping Suyin, but instead trying to save the matriarch from a much greater fate. The longer she and Suyin stayed missing, the more suspicious people around them became. Kuvira knew it would only be a matter of time before their absence would be noticed by others, and someone would come looking for them.

Deciding to down play her anxiety, she smiled back; feeling the matriarch grab her uniform to pull her closer. "Well my boss scheduled me for guard duty today." Kuvira said, smirking as she glanced over to one of the clocks on the dresser. "And…I'm going to be late…as of …now."

Looking down, Suyin ran her hands over the guard's stomach, before clasping them behind Kuvira's back, enveloping her in an embrace. "Well I'm sure your _**boss**_ will be very understanding of your absence." Suyin said, leaning her forehead against the guard's collarbone; thinking of what she would've given to stay wrapped around Kuvira in that moment.

As the months passed, Suyin noticed their rendezvous were getting more and more careless; and she was sure Kuvira was starting to notice the same thing. It had gone from carefully planned midnight meetings while Bataar was out, to bold mid-day releases of pent-up lust in the matriarch's bedroom.

"Thank you." Suyin felt Kuvira slightly recoil at her words, no doubt with a look of confusion plastered on her face.

"For what exactly?" Kuvira said, taking a moment to think over Suyin's words as she brought her free hand to rest on the matriarch's lower back. Looking down at the woman's shoulder she smirked. "Are you thanking me for the sex…or just everything in general?"

Suyin made an appalled noise, as her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. Moving her hands to Kuvira's chest she pushed herself back in the guard's embrace. "Really?"

Smiling at Kuvira in disbelief, she shoved the guard in the arm, as the other woman broke her hold from around Suyin and started to laugh. "Hey, how am I supposed to know?" Kuvira said, her laughs dying down as Suyin's hands reached out to grab her uniform once again, pulling the guard back into her arms.

"Spirits, sometimes you're so frustrating to deal with." The matriarch smiled, biting her lip as she gazed down into the fabric of Kuvira's shirt. With dazed eyes, she watched the finger of her hand trace circles on the guard's stomach as she sighed. "hmm…."

"Well you know that frustration is what makes me-" Kuvira started, looking down at Suyin with a mischievous grin.

Sensing the impending innuendo, Suyin quickly shifted her head up, smiling as she pushed into the guard's chest with her finger. "Don't _even_ go there." She said, rolling her eyes after watching Kuvira's grin widen.

"You know it's true; I-"

"Would you just shut-up for a minute and come here." Suyin smiled, tilting her head back as she wrapped her arms around Kuvira's neck, pulling her down into a kiss.

Unaware of the figure walking past the doorway, Kuvira deepened their kiss, drawing Suyin closer.

Back-tracking his steps to the bedroom doorway; Bataar gaped, watching his wife's hands pull Kuvira closer, as the guard dropped the chest plate she had been holding to link both of her arms around Suyin. He came back because he wanted to make sure his eyes were only deceiving him; but the sight before him was _very_ real. His wife of almost 20 years was locked in a heated kiss with a woman, and a much younger one at that.

Watching Suyin let her hands glide down to the guard's chest until they dug into the fabric of Kuvira's uniform, broke his heart even more. Suyin never kissed him like that; and sometimes he wondered if she was even capable of that kind of passionate love anymore. He grimaced, looking at the answer to his question right in front of his eyes. She _was_ still capable of that kind of love, but it wasn't for him.

Overcome by the emotions he couldn't describe or even express in the given moment, his shaking hands loosened their grip on the large metal object he was holding, letting it fall to the ground with a crash.

Startling both women, they quickly broke apart to see Bataar standing in the doorway; their eyes just as wide as his.

Karma had finally caught up to them; and it was punishing them with the consequences of their illicit relationship.

An eternity of silence seemed to pass before Bataar closed his mouth. Looking at Suyin with hateful eyes, he inhaled an unsteady breath as he turned and walked down the hallway; leaving both women to wallow in their shared guilt.

This is _exactly_ what Kuvira had been trying to avoid. Now things were irreparably damaged, and she was the cause. Watching Suyin's head drop, she found her voice. "Are you going to go talk to him?"

The matriarch shook her head slowly, but said nothing. She was frozen; feeling disconnected from her own body.

"I'm sorry." She heard Kuvira say, as her feet began to move her across the room, away from the guard.

Slowly she sat down on the edge of the bed, resting her elbows on her knees. For the longest time, she stared with glazed eyes at the wall on the opposite side of the room, before she dropped her head into her hands.

"I know…I should probably just go." Kuvira said, cautiously moving closer to the other woman. "But…I can't…" She stopped making sure to leave enough space between her and Suyin. "…Not until you know that I'm here for you."

Suyin heard every one of Kuvira's words, but gave the guard no acknowledgement. She sighed, letting the guilty feelings tear her apart. But as odd as it was, she felt more guilt about not feeling guilty enough. She was supposed to be angry with Kuvira; throwing things at her and yelling about how ruined her life had become with her in it. But for some reason she couldn't bring herself to be angry with the guard; maybe, it was because she wasn't angry at all.

Lifting a hand from her face, she flicked her wrist; closing the door that had betrayed them of their privacy.

Kuvira glanced at the door, feeling the tension slowly draw into the room. Turning her head back to Suyin, uncertainty began to wash over her; as she had no idea what to expect.

"I should hate you right now…" Suyin said, returning her hand to her face. "I should be telling you to leave…"

Kuvira listened to the woman's voice get softer with each word, as a look of confusion overtook her face.

"…but…I can't." Suyin took a shaky deep breath, letting the realization of her actions overcome her. "What am I going to do now?"

Kuvira looked down to at the armor she had left on the ground, focusing on the tiny reflected objects in the metal. "I don't really know." She said, letting her eyes linger on the floor, before shifting her attention back over to Suyin. The matriarch was becoming only a shell of the person she had been just moments ago. Kuvira's job was to protect the other woman, and she felt helpless not even being able to protect Suyin from the things that could damage her the most, her own emotions.

Moving closer to Suyin, she kneeled down before the woman; lifting her arms as she took one of Suyin's wrists in each hand. Bringing her arms down, she pulled the matriarch's hands from her face, seeing the tears held back behind her reddening eyes. "I love you…and I'm not sorry that I do." Kuvira paused shifting her eyes down briefly before looking back up. "But…I'll still respect your wishes. If you want me to leave…then I will."

Suyin shook her head as tears started to fall from her eyes; some creating small darkened spots on Kuvira's uniform where they fell to rest. Leaning her head down onto Kuvira's shoulder…she cried.

* * *

Bataar had avoided her for the rest of the day, isolating himself in his study. It was something she couldn't blame him for. He was reacting just the way she had expected, if not better. In this type of situation, it was hard for her to gauge what the proper reaction would have been. People do all kinds of things in the name of love, and she was more surprised by what he didn't do.

She walked slowly down the hall to his study, dragging her hand along the wall with every advance forward. Taking a deep breath, she stopped just behind the view of the doorway; Her mind sorting through plans and ideas of what she'd say, and how she'd go about resolving this if a solution could even be found.

Moving around the corner, she spotted him; sitting at his work bench with his back to her. He always busied himself in work when something bothered him; and this was no exception.

"Bataar." Suyin said, watching him stop and tense up at her voice. " Please listen to me…I want to talk to you."

With every word she said, she saw his shoulders move up and down as he took in angry breaths.

She moved across the room to one of the chairs by a bookshelf, taking a slow and uncomfortable seat. " I don't know…where to start with all this." Suyin looked down into her hands as she brought her fingers together. " But I-"

"Why don't you start by telling me how long this has been going on." Bataar raised his voice as his eyes glared at the table below him.

"Three years."

Bataar's knuckles turned white hearing his wife's confession. He shook his head, as if it would have woken him up from the nightmare he was experiencing; But to no avail, he was still stuck in the same world trying to run away from the truth. He did not want to believe that the woman he had loved so much, would lie to him for years.

"I gave up…so much…for you, to give you everything." He paused, his emotional state hard for Suyin to decipher as she looked over to him. "How could you do this to me?"

Watching Bataar get up, the matriarch moved her eyes back down, before he slowly started moving towards her. "How could you do this to our family?" He stopped a good distance from her, as his eyes bore holes of shame into her very being.

"Now, I don't even want to go into my own bedroom…" He paused, the words too hard for him to speak. "…Knowing t-that my wife, _my own wife_…has been sleeping with someone else…in the same room."

Listening to him speak, Suyin used a hand to wipe away the tears that fell down her face. "I'm s-"

"I don't want to hear you tell me that you're sorry." His voice rose with anger as he finished. "Saying you're sorry is just the easy way out, isn't it?...to make _you_ feel better."

"Bataar please…just calm down…we can try to work this out." Suyin said in a soft voice, opting for the default saying, as she became more and more emotionally withdrawn.

"You want me to calm down, after I find out that my wife, who I've been married to for almost twenty years, has been sleeping with a _woman_ for the past three."

Every one of his words stabbed Suyin like a knife. She couldn't explain what was happening to her love for Bataar. She couldn't explain why she had chosen Kuvira instead._ Hell,_ she couldn't even explain what was happening to herself. The more she thought about it, the more overwhelmed she became.

"I didn't sleep with her for that long." Suyin realized the stupidity of her own words coming from her mouth, as her mind began to shut down.

With widened disbelieving eyes, Bataar stared at his wife. "Are you kidding me…is that all you can really say?"

"I don't know what else to say Bataar." Suyin said keeping her eyes trained on the floor.

Bataar turned away from her, walking back to the work bench, as he sat down.

In the hostile silence that hung between them, Suyin could hear the echoes of her children's voices down the hall. After what happened with Kuvira, she hadn't been able to focus on_ anything_ other than the path of destruction their affair had brought; as karma followed her around like a lost dog, reminding her of the detriment of her actions.

Hearing her kids voices, and seeing their faces, was like another stab in the back. But even through the constant obstacles, what confused her the most, was that her love for Kuvira still remained.

"Tell me something…" Bataar held in the inescapable question that had plagued his mind throughout the whole day. "Do you love her?" He finally said, seeing the image burned into his mind, of how passionately his wife's fingers dug into the guard's shoulders as they kissed.

Suyin looked up as their eyes met for the first time since the argument had started. That was a question she had an answer for, but didn't want to say it. Her eyes pleaded with Bataar, asking him not to force her to tell. She wouldn't lie about it, and the truth would do too much damage.

Giving up, she sighed as she turned her head away from him, shifting her eyes down. "That isn't really important right now."

Bataar slammed his fist on the table, regaining Suyin's attention as he stood up. "It's important to me that I haven't heard you tell me _**no **_yet."

"Please don't yell Bataar…" Suyin looked down, facing her guilt. "…the kids will hear us."

"So now you care about the family?" He said, walking closer to her. "You didn't seem to care when you brought _that woman_ into our house." Bataar's mind drifted back to his memories of when he had first seen Kuvira, after Suyin had promoted her to a house guard.

He recounted every instance he had seen Suyin with Kuvira; playing it in his mind like a slide show, picking up every piece of the puzzle he had missed.

The absences, the coincidental meetings, his wife's almost constant need to have the guard by her side, the smiles they gave each other, and so many more subtle things he had overlooked. Tears began to form in his eyes as he put everything together.

"I was such a fool, for not seeing it earlier." Bataar said, as his feet dragged him back to the chair.

Sitting down once more, he drew a hand over his face, letting it linger at his mouth, as he lost himself in the pattern of the deep green carpet. "Every time I came back from a trip, I thought I was…coming back to my wife; but in reality, I was coming back to someone who didn't love me at all anymore." He said in hushed tones, as his eyes darted around the ground in shock.

Turning her head to Bataar, Suyin stood up, walking over to him. She had never seen him this hurt before, and now it was because of her. She would have been lying to say that there was never a point where she loved him; it was just the contrary. Years ago, she fell in love with his sweet demeanor and charm; never imagining her life would bring her into the rapturous arms of a twenty-three year old.

Extending an arm to reach for Bataar's shoulder, she was quickly pushed away by the back of his hand. "Don't touch me with those hands." He moved his arm back down, not even taking notice of the hurt on Suyin's face. "I don't even want to know how many times you've touched _her_ the same way."

"Bataar, I-"

"How can you bring this into our home and taint our family with lies?" He looked up into her eyes, as the woman swallowed her guilt. "What kind of mother are you?"

Suyin staggered back, her eyes wide with unshed tears. "Don't say that Bataar…please."

Bataar stood from his seat, to stare right at Suyin, pointing an accusing finger at her. " You aren't the woman I married…**No**. the person in front of me is _not_ my wife…" He paused as a tear ran down his face, watching her turn and walk with uneasy steps to the doorway. "…and_ not_ the mother of my kids."

Suyin placed a supporting hand onto the side of the door, struggling to keep herself from collapsing in grief. Before anything else was said, she left; moving down the hall like a ghost, as she went to find Kuvira.

**Author's note:**

**Back to my usual stuff…. Sorry guys but I'll crack ship 'til I die….just hopefully that isn't tomorrow. lol . This story is just me throwing random ideas out..._so_ shoot me a quick message and tell me if you like it or not ;)**

** P.S. I got tummy chills (butterflies...whatever you call them) writing this story. lol ..so hopefully the story had the same impact on you...I'll be glad if you enjoyed it ;)**


	2. The Aftermath- part 2

_**PART 2-**_

_Previously: Suyin placed a supporting hand onto the side of the door, struggling to keep herself from collapsing in grief. Before anything else was said, she left; moving down the hall like a ghost, as she went to find Kuvira._

* * *

Feeling Suyin's stumbling steps coming towards the doorway, Kuvira left; hearing Bataar's last words echoing in her mind as she walked down the hall.

"_I don't even want to know how many times you've touched __**her**__ the same way."_

"_You aren't the woman I married…__**No**__. the person in front of me is not my wife… and not the mother of my kids."_

Those words weren't meant for her; but hearing the sobs threatening to break through into Suyin's pleading voice, tore her to pieces. Stopping around a corner, she put her back against the wall; waiting as she felt Suyin's steps hastily coming in her direction. She gazed at the matriarch as she passed, watching her wipe her face of tears.

Kuvira's eyes lingered on Suyin's distancing form, before she furrowed her brow, and shifted them down in despair. She had ruined too much; and watching Suyin's life begin to crumble right before her eyes was unbearable. There was no argument in her mind as to what she needed to do. Through her eyes, Kuvira saw only_ one_ obvious solution; she needed to leave to Zaofu. If she stayed Suyin would never find happiness again.

After spending so much time with Suyin, she had assumed that the woman's happiness was found in her family and her city. Remembering the matriarch's wide smile during family occasions or as she would look over the city at her achievements, only enforced Kuvira's reasons to leave. If that's what it took to give Suyin a small semblance of that happiness back, then that's what she'd do.

Lost in her thoughts, time had passed and the matriarch was long gone down the hall. Pushing herself from the wall, she headed in the opposite direction, walking past the closed door of Bataar's study.

She had ruined his life too.

Kuvira never really spoke to Bataar; the very few times they did, it always felt awkward and forced. On most of the occasions they spoke, Suyin was always present. Watching the matriarch kiss him or even rest a reassuring hand on his chest, boiled an intense jealousy within Kuvira's veins.

But now, the tables had turned; and she imagined that it was just as hard for Bataar to see the same thing, happening in reverse. The competitive streak in Kuvira's personality played against her, making it difficult for her to feel any prolonged remorse for what he had seen. She would never tell Suyin how part of her wanted to smile when she saw the shock on his face, after watching them kiss. But in the end, she had technically lost the secret competition she had created for herself.

After she left, Bataar would ultimately get Suyin back. However, if the matriarch's whispered words of 'I love you' were true, Kuvira knew she had nothing to worry about; Suyin would find her way back into her arms sooner than later.

Stepping outside into the warm evening air, Kuvira moved across the courtyard on her way to the train, below the main grounds. She still had to get back to her apartment in the city to pack. She spent so little of her time there, that she'd often forget she had her own place to live.

On nights where her shifts ran long, she'd find herself falling asleep in the guard house. And on the nights Bataar was away, she'd find herself asleep in Suyin's room, wrapped in the arms of the matriarch.

"Hey Kuvira, wait up!" The guard stopped her hasty stride, turning to see Yun jogging toward her.

Yun was an odd person Kuvira would have never expected to befriend. Realistically, their personalities should have done nothing but clash. But Kuvira found comfort in keeping Yun around. The strange energetic guard, with dark hair and a goofy grin, always seemed to be there to provide a comic relief at just the right time.

Catching up to her, Yun smiled that same crooked smile Kuvira could recognize from anywhere.

"Where were you today?" Yun said, looking to the other guard as she exhaled a fatigued deep breath.

Kuvira turned her head forward, as she resumed her walk with Yun following close behind.

"…I was late today…" Kuvira squinted her eyes. _'Well that's not entirely a lie'_ "…my alarm didn't go off…_so_ I didn't get up." _'That's a lie'_

Yun laughed, matching the other guard's quick strides in order to stay by her side. "O.K, spare me the bad lies…I totally saw you walking somewhere with Suyin."

In her mind, Kuvira's eyes went wide; but on the outside only a slight furrow of her brow in annoyance could be seen. _'busted…damn it'_

"Hey, where are you even going anyways?" Yun said, turning her head to Kuvira with a questioning look.

"Back to my apartment."

Bouncing in front of Kuvira, Yun came face to face with the guard's tired eyes, as she less than carefully walked backwards. "Oh! Can I come? Pleeease?"

"Knock yourself out."

Yun moved back to her spot beside Kuvira as they stepped down the many steps to the train port. "Good, because I'm bored…and we need more buddy time." She said, putting a lazy arm on Kuvira's shoulder as the other guard sighed. It was going to be a long evening with Yun around. Just listening to the rambling words of the jumpy guard had a way of easily wearing Kuvira out. But with the semi-traumatic event that had occurred earlier still fresh in her mind, Kuvira figured some distraction would do her good.

Taking her arm from Kuvira's shoulder, Yun stared at the migrating birds flying into the distance over the mountains, as the other guard approached the loading area, nodding to one of their fellow guardsman who stood watch next to the train.

Kuvira looked back at the dazed guard, standing preoccupied by the natural sights of Zaofu. Yun had never really told her much about her past. A few years ago, in a rare moment of depression, Yun had told her about her family, her abusive parents, and the reason why she always stayed so happy. After that day they never spoke of it again, and instead it became nothing more than a silent understanding between friends.

Using her hand to knock against the chest plate of Yun's armor, Kuvira grabbed her attention. "Come on."

Yun yawned, silently following Kuvira as they boarded the train.

The seats lining the sides of the train car were almost all empty. There were only a few people dressed in fancier clothing, sitting spread out amongst each other. Most regular citizens needed special clearance, before they were able to get to the main control center of Zaofu or Suyin.

These people on the train were probably officials of some kind, who had travelled to see the matriarch; giving her business reports and updates on the city. Some didn't even bother to look up and acknowledge the guards' presence, as Yun and Kuvira took their seats next to each other.

"What were you doing with Suyin anyways?"

Yun's blurt out got the attention of the few passengers in the car. Hearing the shifts of newspapers, no doubt sliding down to reveal peeping eyes; Kuvira felt the gazes burning into the side of her face. Clearing her throat into the silence, she hesitantly looked around to see how many stares she'd catch before the owners quickly averted their eyes.

"We'll talk about it later." Kuvira said to Yun under her breath, setting her eyes forward once more as she felt the car begin to move.

Talking about Suyin was normally the thing to get heads turning. Although the matriarch went out of her way to meet every new person or family moving to Zaofu herself; there was still an air of mystery amongst the citizens as to who she really was, behind closed doors. The most common questions that hung around the city were: Who was the woman behind the world leader's mask? And how did she keep Zaofu running with such ease?

Kuvira was lucky to have had a rare personal connection with Suyin.

She knew the information people would have drooled over, and then some. She knew what made Suyin tick; and she knew what satisfied her, down to all the deep intricacies of exactly how to please the woman. Sometimes it even surprised her to see how close she was to the world leader, in comparison to how far away everyone was. But through it all, Kuvira saw Suyin as the woman she had fallen in love with; not as the world leader she worked for.

Yun nudged Kuvira in the arm, bringing the guard back from her thoughts. "Hey come on, we're here."

Kuvira's eyes had been set gazing out of the windows of the train the whole time. But even though she saw the city passing before them, she wasn't _looking_ at anything in particular. Her mind had been lost somewhere else, beyond the colors and shapes of the real world.

Getting off the train, the noise of the city that cut through was a sharp contrast to the guard so used to the quiet serenity of Suyin's home. The citizens stared at them as they walked through the city, recognizing their elite class guard uniforms. As the two women walked among the streets, people stepped out of their way. Ladies smiled and men politely tipped their heads down as they made eye contact with the two guards. Receiving so many gestures of respect from those around them was one of the things that made being an elite guard a proud achievement.

Rounding corner after corner, Yun grew impatient following behind Kuvira through the maze like streets of Zaofu.

"Ugh…Are we almost there?" Yun asked, childishly throwing her head back. "I forgot where you even lived…_actually _I don't think I even know where you live; I probably couldn't get back down here on my own."

Turning down the last street, Kuvira sighed. "Yeah, we're almost there."

The area of town they were in had been "reserved" for the upper class; with houses and apartments that hid the scandals of their secret lives behind walls of privacy. Kuvira used to laugh at the secrets of the high society, only now she couldn't; because she was wrapped up in one of those secrets herself.

The person in her, who had once criticized the extra privileges and abilities of others to willingly look beyond the wrong doing of the high society, was now shamefully quieted, knowing that she had become just as guilty.

In a city where its citizens were encouraged –or forced in some cases- to adhere to a life free of lies and secrets; it could've easily been seen as ironic that its leader held secrets of the most potent kind; Kuvira being one of her greatest. But Suyin was still just as human as anybody else, and not the infallible person people so readily believed she was.

Standing behind Kuvira, Yun looked around at the almost empty street as they made their way to a door. "You know the boss was acting pretty weird today."

Looking down, Kuvira's guilt resurfaced as she stopped in front the metal door, whose angular paneling had been hand engraved by Zaofu's best metal worker. "Hmm."

With a click, the guard opened the door, walking into the apartment and stopping just beyond the doorway, as she looked around at the place that seemed less than recognizable to her. She let the hint of the matriarch's scent which still lingered in the air touch her nose, reminding her of the reason for her return. This would be the last time she had to see this place again. Leaving it was the first step to forgetting Suyin; the apartment just carried too many memories. Memories of the many rendezvous with the matriarch she wanted to leave behind.

Her favorite had always been the early morning visits; where she'd wake up to the sight of Suyin lying next to her asleep, already dressed in her clothes for the day. Sometimes the matriarch would commit the humorous yet childish act of pouncing onto the bed, immediately startling Kuvira into frantic state of awakedness. In truth, she hated that; but Suyin always made up for it afterwards, with a kiss, a smile, or sometimes more.

Breaking Kuvira from her reminiscences, Yun pushed around her, stretching her arms as she lazily dropped down onto the nearby couch, extending her legs over one of its arms. "So…now what?"

"Now, I start packing."

* * *

_169 AG_

Kuvira stood in the middle of the open living room, gazing around at the lavish apartment. "Here." The guard shifted her gaze back to Suyin at hearing the matriarch's voice. Extended out before her were a set of silver keys.

"What do you want me to do with these?" Kuvira asked looking up at Suyin with an eyebrow raised.

Sighing, the matriarch reached out for the guard's hand, taking it into her own as she placed the keys in the center of Kuvira's palm. Suyin kept her eyes trained on the hand she was holding, letting her fingers run across the skin beneath them; feeling its warmth radiate into her own being. "This place is yours now." She said, noticing the muscles in the guard's hand tense. She knew Kuvira wasn't used to over the top gifts, as they were both two people from very different backgrounds. For her, a lavish gift was nothing but another fancy thing to throw aside; but for Kuvira, it was seen as too much. "I want you to have it."

Kuvira looked at the matriarch whose eyes were still lost in their fascination with her hand. "Suyin, I don't need all this."

Looking back up to the guard, Suyin moved her hands from Kuvira's hand to clasp around the guard's neck, slowly closing the space between them. "Well, you might wanna get used to it." Suyin shifted her eyes to the side. "…because I kind of already had your stuff moved out."

Kuvira's eyes widened at the matriarch's confession. "You what?"

Suyin smiled a guilty smile as she gazed back into the guard's deep green eyes. "Yeah."

Staring at Kuvira, the older woman watched the guard take another contemplating gaze around the room, before her eyes fell on the couch they stood behind.

With mischievous look crossing her face, the guard bent down to grab onto the matriarch's legs.

"What the-?" Suyin's eyes widened, feeling herself being lifted from the ground. "Hey!"

Kuvira put Suyin over her shoulder as she grinned. "Ok then, let's go see this bedroom shall we."

The guard walked down the hall, looking at the polished stone flooring, as Suyin's hands grabbed onto her lower back through the dark material of her shirt, normally kept hidden by the chest plate of her uniform. Stopping outside the doorway, Kuvira gazed into the room from a distance before stepping past the threshold of the door. "Woah…you didn't spare any expense did you?"

The guard gaped as her eyes were drawn to the dark hand-carved crown molding that lined the ceiling and the matching base boards at the floor. The light colored walls shining in the mid-day sun, gave the room a brighter feel; A very Suyin-like feel. But while the room reminded her so much of the matriarch, it was also sparsely decorated with just the necessities. No flashy furniture or Over the top colors; just as Kuvira liked it, and looking around the room made her smile.

"Put. Me. Down." Suyin said letting her hands slide down to the back of the guard's thighs. "I am _way_ too old for this."

Feeling Suyin's hands travel beyond her lower back, Kuvira quickly broke from her daze. "Well, someone has got some very explorative hands today." Kuvira smirked, moving over to the bed as she laid the matriarch down on her back.

Pulling away, the guard rested a knee in between Suyin's legs as she hovered over her, letting their eyes connect. "…and what do you mean 'too old'?" She watched the older woman's head turn away from her, feeling the hands that had moved from around her neck, drift down to rest on her collar bone. Age was the one thing they never spoke about; because it forced them to remember they were so far apart in years, that they could pass as mother and daughter. Suyin gazed out the window beside them, as Kuvira gazed longingly at her, watching the matriarch's brow slightly furrow.

Moving a hand up to Suyin's face, the guard's soft fingers traced over the barely noticeable age lines of Suyin's eyes, before travelling into the greying hair at her forehead. "I don't think you're old when I look at you, or when I tell you I love you. And I certainly don't think you're old…when I kiss you."

Suyin turned her head back to Kuvira, staring at the vibrant youthful eyes before shifting her own down, as a saddened smile came across her face. "You know I'm old enough to be your mother."

"But you're not. So it doesn't matter."

"So, you've just got a weird taste for older women then, huh?" Suyin said, moving her arms back to lock around the guard's neck.

Kuvira shrugged. "Maybe…or I just have a weird taste for you."

Suyin smiled, laughing softly under her breath as she pulled Kuvira down to her. "Come here."

Connecting their lips, Suyin ran her hands down to the guard's lower body, grabbing her by the belt as she pulled Kuvira out of her hovering position to fully rest along the length of her own body. The kiss that had started off slow and almost chaste became faster and more restless with every increased increment of their heart beats. Hungering for more from the younger woman, Suyin's hands grabbed the bottom of Kuvira's shirt, gently tugging it out from its tucked in position under her belt.

Kuvira let her forearms come to rest by the matriarch's head, trapping the older woman in between them. Hearing the echoing chime of the main clock in the living room, signaling for the new hour; Kuvira groaned into the kiss, opening her eyes to glance up at the smaller clock on the table next to them. _'Shit…it's 7:00pm'_

Closing her eyes, she mentally sighed feeling Suyin trying to pull her deeper into their kiss. It was obvious the matriarch knew she was losing Kuvira's attention. The older woman's kiss was a practiced intoxication at its best, and Kuvira felt herself being dragged into the enticing pit of temptation she had dug herself far into. _'Yun is just going to have to wait'_

Feeling Suyin's lips break from her own, Kuvira opened her eyes to see Suyin looking back at her with a smirk on her face. "You're think-kissing again."

"What?" Gazing into the matriarch's knowing eyes, Kuvira sighed. "Ok, sorry. I just have a lot on my mind."

"What is it?" Suyin said softly, pushing her fingers into the loose hair that framed the guard's face.

"Don't worry it isn't as important as you right now." Kuvira shifted her eyes to the side before looking back to Suyin with a questioning look. "There is something I'm curious to know though."

The matriarch continued to smile, focusing down to the expanding motion of the guard's abdomen above her own. "What?"

"Why are you giving me all this stuff?" Kuvira turned her head away from Suyin, looking around at all the expensive objects in the room. "You know I don't need this…I'm pretty basic."

Suyin sighed as she moved her hands down to the guard's abdomen that was still in her line of sight. "Well, I just thought you could use a bigger apartment."

Tensing at the feel of the warm fingers running underneath her shirt and across the skin of her stomach, Kuvira grinned. "What was wrong with my old one?"

"It was small…_and_…I just thought you could use a bigger one." Suyin said, giving a relaxed shrug.

Gazing down at the matriarch, who began to knead her thumbs into the muscles under Kuvira's shirt with a bored look on her face, the guard smiled. "It was small-er…" She closed her eyes quickly shaking her head from side to side before opening them again. "…_Plus_, I'm with _you_ half the time...I can barely remember the last time I slept in my own apartment."

Kuvira leaned down, dropping her face into the side of Suyin's neck, breathing in the very recognizable scent of the older woman, not even taking notice of the belt that was slowly slipping out of the loops from around her pants.

Her earlier question to Suyin wasn't really necessary for her to ask; because the more she thought about it, the more Kuvira knew exactly what Suyin was doing by giving her needless things; she was trying to keep her happy.

Pulling away from the matriarch she saw a look of uncertainty in the eyes gazing away below her. "I don't need all of this to love you, you should know that." Kuvira looked at Suyin for a moment longer, before grabbing the belt from the matriarch's hands, and dropping it to the floor, as she slowly pressed her face back against Suyin's neck. "I promise…I'm happy with just you."

Suyin gazed up at the ceiling as a flash of guilt passed through her eyes. Her remorse should have been stronger than her desire for the guard; but the latter was quickly winning, bringing her mind into a complex frenzy when it came to morality.

Kuvira brought her mouth to the side of Suyin's head, pausing as she too contemplated what they were about to do. Giving up on thoughts and rationalities, she pressed a kiss into the woman's hair. "I love you."

"I know." Suyin said in a whisper.

* * *

_171 AG_

"Ku-vira." Yun leaned over the back of the couch, waving a hand in front of the guard's face. "Hel-lo?"

Not getting any response from the guard who stood frozen, lost in her own world, Yun pushed a finger into her shoulder instantly grabbing her attention. Touching her was always the one way to get Kuvira's attention immediately. The guard didn't take kindly to being touched by other people; a sharp contrast to how she was with Suyin.

"Sorry I'm…just tired." Kuvira looked around the large apartment before she noticed she was standing in the same spot she was in when Suyin had first given her the keys; she still had yet to make it to the bedroom to start packing.

Yun fell back down onto the couch closing her eyes. "You zoned out there for a while."

Shutting her own eyes, Kuvira sighed. "Again, I think I'm just tired." She made a move to walk away from the couch into the direction of the bedroom.

"What's going on between you and Suyin, huh?"

Yun's random question froze the guard in place, as her widened shocked eyes darted back to the woman lying on the couch. _'She's just asking a random question Kuvira; nothing to worry about. But then again what if she knows something she's not saying?'_

"W-what are you talking about?"

Keeping her eyes closed, Yun lazily gestured with her hand in the air. "Well when you were lost in your little trip to Kuvira-land…you said 'I'm sorry Suyin'."

'_Shit'_

"So what are you so sorry about, huh?" Yun took in a breath before asking her next question, as Kuvira's palms began to sweat. "Are you the reason she was acting so weird today?"

Giving a light laugh, Yun opened her eyes again, looking over to Kuvira staring transfixed at the floor. "_Or_, I guess…I really should ask again…what _were_ you doing with Suyin?"

From the tone of Yun's voice, Kuvira could tell that the guard was already forming a good idea behind what was going on between her and Suyin; but she was being smart, not saying anything until her growing suspicions were validated by Kuvira herself.

Running a hand over her face, Kuvira sighed. "It wasn't supposed to end up like this, none of this was even supposed to happen." She spoke in semi-hushed tones as she began to pace. "I should have never let it progress this far."

Yun sat up on the couch, following Kuvira's distressed form with her eyes; letting them widen as her mind focused on Kuvira's words while also going through the processes of elimination. Walking through the depths of her mind, she filtered out all the needless information, conversations, and other things that wouldn't satisfy her need for an answer; instead finding the memories that focused on Suyin and Kuvira.

Silently Yun watched the other guard continue to pace, deeply lost in her own mental debate as she began to fill in the blanks; just like Bataar had by replaying every encounter or instance she had ever seen Kuvira and Suyin together.

Shifting her eyes down, she looked from side to side, thinking back to the smiles and longing looks the two "unknowingly" shared. They had always seemed to stare at each other a little _too_ long; and Suyin's "nonchalant" touches that lingered on the guard's shoulder or just about anywhere else on her arm, always looked like they suggested more than they should have.

There were of course rumors amongst the other guards, as to the true nature of Suyin's relationship with Kuvira; Yun had heard them all. They went from the innocent vicinity of the "long-lost daughter theory", all the way to Kuvira acting as the releaser of the matriarch's sexual tensions and frustrations. Kuvira being attached to Suyin's side at almost every hour of the day and night, did nothing but strengthen the alleged evidence around which the rumors thrived.

Much of the gossip had come from the fact that the other guards knew Kuvira was automatically favored over them. They'd watch as Suyin chose her before even considering anyone else. To say that some of the rumors weren't born out of spite against Kuvira from the others, would have been wrong. Even though she had an almost unbeatable talent, Kuvira also benefited from having Suyin's favoritism on her side; allowing her to stay on the make-believe pedestal the matriarch had created for her.

"Is there something going on between you and Suyin?" Yun couldn't hold it in anymore, and decided to ask the daringly forward question. Kuvira came to a silent halt, as she looked out at the nearby kitchen with a blank expression on her face; one that didn't quite transfer to the overwhelmed look in her tired eyes.

Her shoulders slightly deflated from their normally rigid posture; signaling her submission to the day's stressful events. The guard sighed, closing her eyes tightly for a moment, wishing she could start the day over again with the newly gained knowledge of what _not_ to do…or at least with the forethought of closing the door _before_ kissing Suyin.

Making her way over to the sitting area, Kuvira took a seat opposite Yun, on the other side of the table that acted as the divider between the two dark green colored couched. The guard rested her forearms on her knees, keeping her eyes trained to the ground before she finally spoke. "You'll probably find out eventually anyways…so I guess it's better if the truth comes from me." Folding her hands in front of her, she slowly lifted her head up to Yun, who had moved to the edge of her seat. "To answer your question…yes."

The other guard shifted her eyes from Kuvira to silently burn a hole into the ground with the intensity of her stare. She swallowed a few times, in between attempting to shape her mouth into words that wouldn't come out. After clearing her throat, Yun looked back to Kuvira. "What...no…no way…right?"

Breaking into a disbelieving laugh, Yun pointed at the other guard. "O.K, you got me…If you're joking with me, this is definitely the joke of the year. In fact, the best I've heard…because you have _really_ got me fooled here." Watching Kuvira look away from her as she furrowed her brow, Yun shot up from her seat. "Ho-ly Spirits…y-you aren't kidding…are you?"

"No."

Yun placed a few fingers over her mouth; squinting her eyes as she looked down. "Wow…and I always told them that none of those rumors were true."

"Rumors?"

Yun looked back to Kuvira, resuming her seat on the couch. "Yeah, there are quite a few about you and Suyin… I mean...you know how people get when things don't seem ri-" Yun stopped herself, searching for words that wouldn't offend Kuvira; but judging what was best, she decided to move away from the conversation all together, not wanting to speak without thinking things through.

Telling Kuvira that her relationship with Suyin didn't seem right was bound to strain their friendship.

Yun always figured that Kuvira was more interested in women than men. Call it stereotyping on her part, but it was just something about her friend's demeanor that gave it away. Patiently waiting for the day her suspicions would be settled, Yun had already planned out how she'd respond; what she'd say and do in the moment of finding out whether or not she was right or wrong. But she hadn't prepared anything for this.

It wasn't hard to see what Kuvira might have seen in Suyin. The matriarch was beautiful, in an arguably breathtaking kind of way. But she was also a mother and a woman twenty years Kuvira's senior. Because of that, it was hard for her to judge the appropriateness of their relationship.

Giving up on everything logical and rational, Yun threw her hands up into the air. "…You know what; I'm just going to shut-up. But don't worry, they don't know what they're talking about, and of course _I _won't say anything…you're secrets are safe."

The tension dissipated as both found comfort in the brief silence. Yun took the opportunity to clear her mind; looking around at the apartment she never really paid much attention to. For the first time, she saw the beauty in its open structure and complementing colors. _'I wonder why Kuvira rarely stays here.'_ She thought before the obvious dawned on her. _'Suyin'_

"So what's it like…doing-it with a world leader?" Yun closed her eyes, leaning back on the couch; clasping her hands behind her head, as she failed to notice the disturbed expression on Kuvira's face.

Inhaling a deep breath, Kuvira raised her eyebrows, as she began to remove the armor of her uniform that had started to feel as heavy as the guilt she had carried throughout the day. She gave a small smile to herself, thinking over Yun's blunt question. It was _exactly_ in the eccentric guard's personality to ask something just like that; so it didn't bother Kuvira much.

"Well…I don't really think of her as a world leader when I'm sleeping with her." Kuvira paused; disturbed by the words that left her own mouth. "…and…I don't even know why I just told you that."

Yun cracked an eye open, watching the guard before her place the last of her armor on the couch. "I gotta say…you have done an amazing job of keeping this whole relationship hidden…" Sitting up, Yun noticed the slight clench of Kuvira's jaw, but continued to speak. "I mean sure, having an adulterous affair with someone is one thing; but having that someone be a world leader puts it on a completely different level…and to keep it all a secret is perhaps worth applauding."

Hearing a darkened laugh, Yun focused on Kuvira. "What's funny?"

Kuvira looked out at the room. "Oh, it's actually _not_ funny at all." She gazed over to Yun, who sat with an eyebrow raised. "I was just thinking about how ironic it was when you called it a secret just now."

"Why is it ironic, isn't that what it is...a secret?" Yun asked. "…Unless, I'm missing something."

"Nope, it's not a secret anymore." Kuvira looked at Yun, whose eyes started to widen. "…her husband finally found out."

"No way" Yun slammed her hands down on the table in front of her.

"Yeah, meaning it's time for me to get out of Zaofu." Kuvira got up from the couch, heading to the bedroom as Yun quickly stood, hastily removing each piece of her armor which she dropped in a trail on the floor as she followed after Kuvira. "Wait for me."

Yun caught up grabbing Kuvira's retreating arm; using it to stabilize herself as she took off her boots. "I am totally not leaving until you tell me the whole story." Shifting to the second foot, she lost her balance, collapsing and dragging Kuvira down under her.

Letting out a loud grunt, Kuvira felt the other guard's hand pushing into her shoulder. "OW! You are pushing right into the shoulder that I just injured a couple days ago."

Yun pushed herself up; hovering over Kuvira with a teasing smile. "_Oh_, how did you injure it...did you throw it out sleeping with the boss?"

Pinned underneath Yun, Kuvira closed her eyes letting her mouth stretch into an escaping smile. "No, now get off of me."

Both missed the click of the door as they struggled to untangle themselves.

Kuvira brought her legs into a propped up position on either side of Yun, preparing to sit up. Feeling the other guard make no effort to move off of her, Kuvira opened her eyes looking up to see her frozen; staring with her head turned towards the door. "Why are you still on top of me?" Yun's eyes darted back to hers and Kuvira noticed the awkward tight smile that the guard had on her face.

"You might want to look over to the door right about now." Yun said to the guard below her under her breath, through clenched teeth.

Kuvira sighed, furrowing her brow in response. "What?"

Turning her head, her eyes connected with Suyin's as they slowly widened, realizing how compromising the position looked to the matriarch. She watched Suyin's eyes run along their bodies; freezing on one particular spot. Kuvira glanced down to her hands resting on Yun sides, as she remembered she had been preparing to push the woman off of her. _'Well that makes things look a lot worse'_

Looking back to Kuvira, Suyin squinted her eyes; silently nodding her head a few times before turning around to leave out of the door that her hand still held onto.

'_Shit'_

"No, Suyin…" Kuvira pushed herself out from underneath Yun, as she scrambled to get up from the floor. She couldn't lose Suyin over a stupid misunderstanding.

* * *

**Author's note: Merry Christmas/X-mas (whatever you call it lol )to those who celebrate it, and if you don't I hope you're at least having a good day. lol. This is my gift to you...a chapter that is_ long_ overdue. This one was a lot more difficult to write than I thought it would be...it took **_**way**_** too much time. But at least this is out now ;) As Always, feel free to comment/Review or message me; I'm friendly...so stop by and tell me what you thought. ;)**


	3. The Journey- Part 1

**Previously: **_"No, Suyin…" Kuvira pushed herself out from underneath Yun, as she scrambled to get up from the floor._

_She couldn't lose Suyin over a stupid misunderstanding._

* * *

_**30 Minutes Earlier**_

A dark shirt found itself over Suyin's head.

Easing her arms into the sleeves, she pulled it down; coming face to face with her own reflection of guilt, staring back at her through the full length mirror. Every time she switched out her normal clothes with the darker more fitted ones, she'd promise herself it was for the last time, before she headed out into the night; claiming her double life once more. But promises were false assurances, engineered to be broken. And more often than not, they were. Her marriage was now the greatest example of such broken promises. Suyin knew she had trampled over her marriage vows when she kissed Kuvira back, instead of pushing her away like she should have.

By now, she had long lost count of how many times she said "this is it" before there was no use in lying anymore, and she opted for stoic silence.

The first night Suyin "snuck out", she found herself at the doorway of Kuvira's apartment; the smaller one. Her mind screamed over and over again, wondering what abhorrent kind of fate had drawn her to Kuvira's door.

It was difficult for both of them to look into each other's eyes that night. Neither said any words as they let the silence overtake the moment between them. Suyin remembered looking at her feet; hesitant to take the first step into the apartment, beyond the safe threshold of the outside world.

With so much holding her back she couldn't make that step on her own, and Kuvira saw that. The unforgettable adrenaline rush she remembered next was the feeling of the guard's hand taking her own; entwining their fingers for the first time, as she helped Suyin make that decision by dragging her silently into a dark rapture she would never get out of.

Over time as the night visits became more frequent, it got easier to look into Kuvira's eyes, to the point where hesitance no longer held a place in their relationship. When they'd meet up the first thing Suyin did was kiss her, until all the wrongs faded into rights; masking her inner turmoil within love's blissful desire. But now when she desperately needed that reassurance, it was gone.

Kuvira had disappeared after the incident earlier in the day. No matter where Suyin looked she wasn't able to find her.

Reminded of her duties as a world leader, she was forced to call off her search for the guard and retreat to her office. Trade agreements and other documents passed over her desk, but her unfocused mind couldn't make sense of the words she read. The paper was nothing but a blur of white in her hands, with the ink of every word morphing into Kuvira's name.

A few unsuccessful hours passed by before Suyin finally gave up on work; staring down at the desk as the pen dropped from her hand. She couldn't forget the guard, and the only way to satisfy her unrested mind was to find her.

Maybe she'd find solace in working things out with Kuvira, and telling her they'd "figure it out." At least that's what Suyin told herself when she left her office and headed to the bedroom she had been avoiding the entire day; not even daring to walk down the same hallway.

What "Figuring it out" really meant was that Suyin wanted a way to fix her marriage, but stay with Kuvira at the same time; two options that didn't go together. And part of her knew, even if she was able to keep up the same charade by hidings things once again, the truth would still come out, and its repercussions would be worse the next time. Suyin stood in front of the mirror, ignoring every rational thought telling her not to go to the only place she hadn't looked; the apartment.

She crossed the room, walking away from her scrutinizing image in the mirror; judging her with her own disdain. Stopping with her hand on the door handle, she looked over to the bed with saddened eyes; seeing ghosted images of her and Kuvira kissing, lost in their own world, moments before their lives were changed forever.

Casting her eyes down, Suyin sighed; pushing the door open, and escaping her regrets without a second thought.

The emptiness of the halls comforted her as she slowly walked with quieted steps; avoiding the larger family areas for obvious reasons. The last thing Suyin wanted to hear were questions asking where she was headed. If it came to the unavoidable inquiries, she wouldn't have anything but an answer full of lies to give in return; some good that did her family. They were just more lies from "mom", collecting in a tall pile of deception that was already collapsing around her.

Suyin breathed out her relief, as her hand latched onto the main door. Opening it, she took in the cool air through her nose; thankful that she had managed to bypass everything, and make it out of the estate without causing more damage than what was already done.

Her eyes swept over the horizon; it truly was nature's greatest work of art. Suyin spared a moment to lose herself in the awe inspiring colors of gold and orange. The little pink clouds that drifted, isolated in the darker blue part of the sky were always her favorite to watch. Something about the contrast of the colors never failed to bring a smile to her face. They were so different from one another, yet meshed so perfectly in the sky. But tonight Suyin couldn't smile; she could almost swear she had forgotten how.

Glancing over to the spire of the tallest building sticking up through Zaofu's main business district, Suyin broke her brooding gaze from the horizon and continued towards her destination. Getting through the city unrecognized wouldn't be easy, but it was a risk the world leader was willing to take. She left the estate, moving across the courtyard with a practiced speed. The sooner she could get to Kuvira, the better.

Suyin came to a sudden halt on the top of the steps, leading down to the train that would take her into the city.

What was she doing?

Her marriage had just gone up in flames; and eventually her kids would find out that dear old mom was sleeping with a woman, instantly dividing them against her.

The regrets she thought she'd left behind had followed her out of the estate as they always did. But this time pushing them away seemed harder to do.

Everything she had built up in her life hung in jeopardy of being torn apart and desecrated, by no one other than herself. She was her own worst enemy; yet instead of turning back from the hell she was walking into, Suyin continued to descend. Her steps, at first slow and tentative became strong ones, set with determination as she walked to the train. The consequences were clear in her mind this time. But still she willingly chose to go to Kuvira; wanting nothing more than to forget everything in the guard's arms. The ones that made her mind go blank; resolving every hesitance with a fooling trickery of rationality.

Wrapped up in Kuvira's embrace, guilt no longer held any influence. And right now, if it meant being able to feel the securing warmth of the guard's body against hers one more time, Suyin didn't care about the chances she had to take.

* * *

**A.N:** I know I know...it's pretty short, but this whole chapter is turning out to be quite long so I cut it up into two parts. Mainly because I think the next and most important part (the longest too lol) will benefit greatly from some more editing. Anyways, I still hope you enjoyed the little bit you had to work with .lol.


	4. The Journey- Part 2

_**Previously:**_ _"Wrapped up in Kuvira's embrace, guilt no longer held any influence. And right now, if it meant being able to feel the securing warmth of the guard's body against hers one more time, Suyin didn't care about the chances she had to take."_

* * *

"How's it going ma'am?" The guard tipped his head down slightly, taking in her dark appearance as she boarded the train.

"Fine." Suyin said with no smile; her head not even turning in his direction.

Of course her curt answer was nothing but a blatant lie. There wasn't anything "fine" about the day of hell she had just endured. The most calming thing about it all, was that she knew it had to eventually come to an end, and then time would pass like it always did. Years from now this particular day would become nothing but a memory, locked in her mind, until she was too old and senile to remember it.

Suyin entered the train with her head down and her hands stuck in her pockets; looking more like the teenager she was thirty years ago. The same guilty look plastered on her face, just as it was after every time she'd stolen something for the Triad. Only as an adult, she did a better job of hiding that guilt behind deceiving eyes.

Suyin sat down, not bothering to care if her position lacked its confident stature as she reached an arm over the back of the chair, wincing at the sore pain in her shoulder.

'Old' was a word that passed through her mind time and time again, becoming more prevalent with every ache or pain she felt coursing through her.

Aging was life's slowest death...

Every year and birthday that passed by reminded Suyin of that. And the memories of years past that followed those occasions, were nothing but ammunition to the mind to make that death feel even closer. They allowed you to look back at a younger version of yourself, and compare it with what you had become.

Keeping up her top physical condition was something Suyin prided herself on, and worked hard to maintain. But over the years it took more work to keep herself looking the way she wanted. She shivered at the thought of getting too old to care for herself. And even if she didn't want to admit it, Suyin knew that her body was deteriorating. New aches and pains were threatening to take her down every day; coming on as sudden sharp stabbings that only lasted for a moment, to dull aches that never seemed to go away. Then there were times she'd think about her age and count how many decades she had left, before her hair turned white and her back hunched over. Catching herself gazing at her hands was something she often did during train rides like these, or on slow days in the office.

Wondering how they'd look in the next thirty years, when the veins started to pop through her sagging skin, led her mind to two questions. Why did Kuvira love her? And, how long would she?

Being with Kuvira gave her back her sense of youth, even if loving a woman twenty years younger than her was something Suyin had never foreseen. But in a cruel stretch of irony, it was a double edged sword, making her realize her age even more. Kuvira's body was sharp, and her reflexes quick. And although Suyin had a physique that could easily rival most, she also knew that aging pushed her to her limits now even faster than it had before.

Occasionally sitting with the audience, Suyin found beauty in watching the guard perform with the dance team, as her muscles flexed and stretched with the metal cables. Even more satisfying to Suyin was that behind closed doors, that body was hers. She always kept her eyes glued to Kuvira, as they unknowingly took on a predatory gleam.

Looking around the train car, Suyin picked out the faces of the few passengers present she recognized. A couple of money hungry CEOs and that creepy infrastructure engineer from the construction company; whose beady eyes always stared at her a little too long.

During meetings, every time Suyin watched his eyes run across her body, she could feel the irritation radiating from Kuvira, often standing close by. They both shared a mutual dislike for the man, but Kuvira even more. She knew what he wanted, and like a territorial animal she silently gave him warning signs when he overstepped his bounds. It was normally just a tame angry stare. But when he started inching closer to Suyin, Kuvira moved closer; her angry stare turning into a glare in some cases.

Sensing the silent competition between the two, Suyin always took Kuvira's side, moving close enough to sneak in a hidden kick to the guard's leg, and break her attention from the man.

Thinking of Kuvira's guilty look every time she caught her glaring daggers at other people for staring at her too long, Suyin smiled her first smile since the whole ordeal of the day. It was a small and hidden smile, but one with the thought of Kuvira in mind.

* * *

"_Have you ever realized how jealous you get?" Suyin sat back, feeling the blades of grass crush beneath her palms. Reaching out a hand to stroke the guard's face in her lap, she listened to Kuvira groan at her question and lean into her hand, closing her eyes._

_They were here again; sitting secluded on a hill overlooking Zaofu._

_Like two love-struck teenagers, this was where they came to hide from the judging eyes of people who wouldn't approve of their relationship. Here, staring out at the evening horizon, they unwound from their stress generating jobs and the rushed hustle of the real world, by creating their own world in each other's company. And Suyin couldn't think of a better way to enjoy her favorite pastime, watching the sun slowly set as the day evaporated away._

"_I'm not that bad." Kuvira smiled._

_Suyin sat up; hovering over Kuvira. Dazed, she aimlessly let her fingers caress the skin beneath them, as the guard's eyes opened and looked up at her with a measure of disbelief. How she had ever managed to get a woman like Suyin was beyond her comprehension. _

"_Yeah, you are." Suyin smiled shifting her gaze from the dark hair her fingers traveled into, to the deep green eyes, whose cool color was slightly offset by the warm orange glow of the sun, making them appear lighter than they were._

"_Sorry…but I can't help it." Kuvira turned her head to the side, feeling her irritation grow at the thought of Suyin with another person. But realizing she had no right to lay any claim on a married woman, drove her to frustration. In reality **she** was the other person she should have hated._

"_Well, I can't help that I'm attractive." Suyin smiled, turning Kuvira's face back to her, and loosening the guard's obvious irritation with a shred of humor. And it worked, just as she thought it would, getting Kuvira to grin and bury her face into her stomach._

"_Spirits, I love you." Kuvira said with a sigh, the three words that always made the matriarch pale._

_Suyin lightly cleared her throat as she looked out at the darkening horizon, continuing to stroke Kuvira's hair. "What would I do without you?" It was a weak response, not matching the stilling grandeur of Kuvira's words. But in order to keep Kuvira happy and free of doubts, she had to give something back._

* * *

Suyin crossed a leg over the other, relieved by the silence around her as the trees outside sped up into a passing blur. Nobody asked about her change in clothes, or bothered her with mediocre how are yous. Her expression returning to its grim state staring out the window, was enough to tell them that now was not the time.

On the outside Suyin's disposition was calm and contained; her well-practiced regality was a stark contrast to the whirl winded chaos of her mind. It was disturbing for her to think about how quickly her feet carried her away from the estate, almost without hesitance. She thought about all the people around her; that guard she had just talked to, and every unsuspecting citizen of Zaofu; completely unaware of the turmoil her personal affairs caused behind closed doors.

Gazing out at the passing scenery before her, Suyin watched the sun drift down between a rift in the mountains, painting the passing skyscrapers in a warm glow of dying colors, reflecting off their glass windows. A beauty of Zaofu she would have normally appreciated, but found no capacity to in her current state. It only made her think back to more of those unforgettable moments she had with Kuvira, not all of them good.

* * *

"_You wanted to see me?" Kuvira stepped into Suyin's office, closing the door behind her. Taking off her guard helmet, she held it underneath her arm; trying not to appear unsettled or troubled by the matriarch's sudden request to see her. The emotionless way Aiwei told her things like this, left Kuvira irritated. She was never able to salvage even a hint as to what it was Suyin wanted; leaving her mind and nerves in a confused state, after he'd say nothing more than "Suyin wants to see you." _

_Kuvira never really liked Aiwei to begin with. But learned to get used to his self-righteous attitude, and the way he followed Suyin around like a dog, more often than she did. As a truth-seer, Kuvira had no doubt that Aiwei knew things about her and Suyin that he was smart enough not to say. _

_With her back turned to Kuvira, Suyin gazed out the window and ran a hand over her tired eyes. "What is this I'm hearing about you fighting with the fire nation guards?"_

"_It was just one..." Kuvira looked down, wishing they could talk about anything other than the altercation she had technically started. "...But he __**gave**__ me a reason to hit him." She looked back up to Suyin, with a furrowed brow._

"_Kuvira-"_

"_They can't just come in here criticizing us, and how we do things."_

_Suyin looked over her shoulder. "Kuvira they-"_

"_I don't care who they are. I don't want to hear them insulting you." Kuvira stormed closer to Suyin's desk, stopping with a foot on the edge of the platform that raised the area up from the rest of the office floor. "And I'm not just going to stand around w-"_

"_KUVIRA THEY ARE GU-" Suyin whipped around, only to stop suddenly with her voice caught in her throat, as she came face to face with the outcome of that fight present on Kuvira's face. With her eyes widening she stepped closer to Kuvira. "What happened?"_

"_We threw a couple of punches, after he called you a-"_

"_I don't want to know." Suyin walked closer to Kuvira, placing her hands against the sides of the guard's face. "The captain of my guard cannot be fighting Kuvira." She touched the bruising area around Kuvira's eye, beginning to take on a blue-ish discoloration, as she watched the guard wince and look away. _

_Suyin sighed seeing the busted blood vessels within the white of Kuvira's eye. "Look at me…" She softly pulled Kuvira's face back to her. "Not everyone, is going to like me. And you can't just go beating them up because they make a comment or a gesture." Her thumbs ran across Kuvira's cheeks, calming the guard down with every stroke. "I love that you love me enough to defend me, but it's not worth you ending up in jail because you bashed someone's head into the ground." Suyin smiled and Kuvira smiled back. "They are just guests, they won't be here long. And once I'm done finalizing this trade agreement, they all go back to the fire nation."_

_Kuvira dropped her head down onto Suyin's shoulder. "Well still…I don't like hearing them say things like that about you."_

"_It's temporary." Suyin rubbed small circles on Kuvira's back. "So no more beating people up, ok?"_

_She smiled again, listening to the muffled groan Kuvira gave with her face buried into her shoulder. That was Kuvira's way of saying "fine" and it didn't take Suyin long to get used to it._

* * *

Suyin knew she had the guard controlled and locked within her grasp, yet this time she had somehow let her get away.

The motion of the train pulled to a slowing halt, waking Suyin from her daydreams as they arrived in the city. The only people who knew she was there were the elite officials in the car with her, but they knew better than to get too nosy into her personal affairs; their curiosity could cost them their business, a risk that wasn't worth taking. And trying to blackmail her would get them nowhere; leading them into a dead end buried in lawsuits.

The officials passed in front her, glancing in her direction briefly with faces that didn't smile as they filed off, following each other one after another.

Once the last man was out, Suyin took in a breath of confidence and stood.

Stepping down the steps, her feet hit the city pavement illuminated by the streets lamps above, before she let that same breath go. Moving through the diminishing crowds of people, Suyin walked amongst the citizens; blending into the dark shades of greens and blacks. Many of who she had personally interviewed before allowing them into Zaofu.

It was a tedious process, and the use of intuition and Aiwei had been the only means of deciphering between the good and the bad; a mildly discriminatory means at best. But her concern was for her city's safety; at least that's how she rationalized it.

Of course there was no sure way to judge who people really were, or who they'd become. Everyone tended to change with time. And the docile gardener trusted by all, could easily turn into the serial killer nobody expected, if he were pushed too far.

Keeping her head down, Suyin progressed through the city; bumping shoulders and listening to excuse mes. A few people stopped in their tracks, giving her weird looks and raised eyebrows, as they wondered if it was really their leader who roamed the streets in plain clothes.

Suyin didn't stop and talk to anybody, or listen to any comments and concerns. Instead she just continued to wade through the citizens in silence; giving the cold shoulder to anyone who did happen to recognize her. They'd eventually get the message that she didn't want to talk, and that's what she was counting on.

The sun finally started to disappear, bringing darkness to the city, and a chill to the air.

Suyin stuffed her hands back into her pockets, and hiked up the hill that set the elite estates apart from the commoners' houses. Every step and turn drew Suyin nearer to the apartment; her doubts growing indefinitely as she moved through a few darkened backroads to stay out of the main city streets, whose activity was only slowly starting to die.

Why hadn't Kuvira come to find her? Was among the many questions that plagued her mind.

They had both gotten caught, and were supposed to be each other's greatest ally. Yet ironically, Suyin felt a wall of indifference grow between them immediately after they parted ways; going off to work their daily jobs as though nothing had transpired.

Although Kuvira had stayed with her for hours in the bedroom afterward, telling her she'd be there for her, and consoling all her fears with kisses and hugs; everything seemed just the opposite as the day went on. Kuvira had all but disappeared, and her words seemed like nothing but false hopes to get her through the brunt of the pain, in the midst of the aftermath.

Kuvira was avoiding her; and that was the only answer Suyin had for the guard's odd behavior. That wasn't the worst thing about the day; but feeling alone just made everything hurt a little more.

Suyin stopped in the middle of one of the main streets, set on a tiring incline.

She glanced up up with a sigh, then turned around and looked back at the glowing lights of the city below from where she stood, overlooking the family houses and closing businesses on the lower level. The wind swept over her face, as she briefly closed her eyes trying to wish the day away.

This was all almost too unbelievable to her; feeling more like the unrealistic fantasy of a bad mover, than a very real part of her life.

Why was she giving everything for a woman so much younger than her?

When their relationship first started, after a discussion had turned into a spontaneously heated kiss; Suyin pushed Kuvira into the back of her mind.

Telling herself she had more important duties and priorities to worry about; there was no room for any extra drama in her life. But as days and weeks turned into months and years, Suyin found Kuvira becoming one of those priorities; tearing most of her attention away from work, and other things that had once mattered more.

Along with the unexpected happiness those years brought, doubts began to fester in the back of Suyin's mind; telling her Kuvira never loved her, but still saw the value of stringing a world leader along.

In truth, Kuvira had gained a control over her in a way nobody else could. If she wanted money, power, or just about anything else, Suyin could've given it to her...without refusal.

Taking the chance of being manipulated with lies was loves' greatest threat, and Kuvira's most useful weapon, should every utterance of affection turn out to be fake. And then when Suyin found out Kuvira didn't love her, she'd just become a sad forty-five year old with a mid-life crisis; searching for her own youth in a younger woman, masked in the guise of love.

All Suyin relied on was her trust in Kuvira to help fight off the turbulent doubts in her mind. Sometimes they ate away at her sanity; driving her mad until she'd walk back into those strong and protecting arms, forgetting everything as it faded away.

Lost in her thoughts, Suyin absentmindedly navigated to Kuvira's apartment by memory.

Passing the neighboring ritzy apartments on the same lifeless street, and listening to the music of their rich parties thriving in the background, she approached Kuvira's door. Out of instinct she reached for its handle. But before she could turn it she froze, hearing a different female voice laughing from the other side.

Suyin's doubts grew fiercer than ever as she fought with herself.

She could still turn around and leave while the opportunity was available; saving herself the hurt by never knowing what was on the other side. Or, she could stay; opening it to find that her thoughts had only been betraying her, and Kuvira was still faithful.

Suyin chose the second option out of hope, and an accumulation of years' worth of trust in the guard.

But opening the door, Suyin could feel her heart shatter into millions of pieces; staring at the very sight before her eyes she had feared.

Kuvira was pinned down by the other guard's hands on her shoulders. And the young woman lying in between Kuvira's legs smiled down at her, flipping her dark hair to the side and out of her face. She curled in her bottom lip and bit down, continuing to smile at the guard under her.

Whatever words passed between them Suyin couldn't make out in the flood of emotions rushing through her. But she did notice Kuvira's mouth stretch into a similar smile; the same one the guard had told her years ago was only for her.

The other guard finally turned her head towards the door; it must have been the draft coming through that alerted her. She did a sudden double take when she saw Suyin standing in the room, and looked back down at Kuvira, whispering a few more words to her before the supposed traitorous woman turned her head to Suyin with slowly widening eyes.

There was nothing but a glare to be given as Suyin's eyes confirmed every doubt, staring at the proof before her. She slammed the door, leaving in silence, without as much as a grunt in anger.

_"No, Suyin."_

Sure, she heard Kuvira call her name from the other side of the door; her muffled voice already asking for a forgiveness she wouldn't give. Suyin didn't want to waste her time hearing any of the excuses made up from lies. There was no use.

Her feet moved quickly down the road from which she came; her heels hitting the pavement relentlessly as she descended the hill with speed back to the lower level. Feeling steps hastily coming her way, Suyin flicked her wrist; satisfied when they came to a sudden stop.

Her eyes shed no tears as she made it back to the lower level street, now deserted and looking as empty as she felt. But they burned as all her pain tried to break through...but her pride let nothing fall.

Suyin's mind had already prepared her for this, long before she had first slept with Kuvira; somewhere after their first kiss. Wracked with anxiety for days after that kiss, her mind came up with all kinds of scenarios for if things did work out between them, and escape plans for if they didn't. The eventuality of Kuvira leaving her for a younger person had been mixed into one of those wild escape plans, and remained something Suyin saw as only inevitable with time.

Someone closer to Kuvira's age had the time to give her the love she deserved. But with her, Suyin knew a relationship between them would only be rushed on borrowed time until the end.

So what kept drawing her back?

Her chest heaved wildly as she came to a stop, and slowly caught her breath.

Extending an arm out to a building's concrete wall, Suyin turned her head; controlling her breathing as her eyes stared transfixed down the alley around the wall's corner, to a sight at its opposite end. Slowly she moved in further, dragging her hand along the rough concrete as she disappeared into the abyss.

* * *

**A.N:** So there's part 2 (the end) of that journey. And of course, you know what's coming up next ;) Anyways like always, hope you enjoyed this.


	5. The Longest Night- Part 1

_**A.N. So it's been awhile for this story…I hope these next chapters will do it some justice.**_

* * *

**Previously: **_Extending an arm out to a building's concrete wall, Suyin turned her head, controlling her breathing as her eyes stared transfixed down the alley around the wall's corner, to a sight at its opposite end. Slowly she moved in further, dragging her hand along the rough concrete as she disappeared into the abyss._

* * *

**The Longest Night- Part 1**

Racing out of the apartment, Kuvira was greeted by a darkness she hadn't realize had fallen. Just as she predicted, time had passed listening to Yun ramble on and on. Running after Suyin's quickly retreating form, she didn't have time to think about what she'd do or say next if she managed to catch the older woman.

An obstacle materialized out of the ground at her feet, bringing a sudden forced halt to her quickened pace, sending Kuvira landing on her hands just in time to prevent her face from colliding with the road.

'_Ugh, you're making this difficult'_

She knew Suyin tripped her on purpose. Pushing herself up from the cold pavement, Kuvira lifted her head, feeling her frustration slowly turning into anger. Her eyes darted around, searching for the matriarch who had disappeared from her sight.

Standing up, Kuvira looked down the street. "Where did you go?" She asked in a low whisper.

The breath she'd steadily taken in, drowned out into a forced sigh as she quickly walked down the street; her bare feet skidding to stop herself from going any further down the hill.

Suyin couldn't have gotten that far in that short amount of time. It would only be a waste to continue.

Kuvira turned around, looking down as she squeezed her hands into fists by her sides. Relaxing her best, she let her feet feel for what her eyes couldn't see. She curled her toes, digging them into the ground to feel through every thump and vibration for any sign of Suyin.

To a regular earth bender everybody's steps felt the same. But a master bender learned to pick out the small differences in the steps of each person, even using it as a means of identification. The light agile vibrations of Suyin's steps were a pattern the guard had locked into her mind over the years.

It was the same one she felt now. Faint and distant, but it was there.

Snapping her head up, Kuvira's eyes darted around from building to building as her feet carried her down further to the bottom of the street's hill.

As the vibrations got stronger she stopped, trying to figure out from which direction they came. A tremor passed through the side of her foot as the wind blew her hair back.

Turning her head in its direction, she peered into the darkness of the alley way beside her. In it she saw the back of a dark figure turned away from her, with an arm extended to the wall. She couldn't make out the figure. But squinting her eyes, she walked to the opening of the alley.

From the glimpse of Suyin Kuvira had gotten back in the apartment, she remembered not seeing the matriarch in her normal clothes. She wore the darker ones Kuvira had come to recognize just as well. The ones suitable for sneaking through the night with the intent to remain unseen; suitable for carrying on rendezvous no one would know about. So if that figure was Suyin, those dark clothes had done their purpose, blending her into the wall of the dimly lit alley.

Moving in further, Kuvira watched the figure drop its hand and press against the wall with a shoulder for support, gazing out the alley's opposite end. Stepping through a couple chilling puddles, Kuvira slowly walked closer to the figure who slid down the wall into a sitting position on the floor. At that point she didn't need to guess who it was anymore.

Kuvira let her steps hasten, peeling the soles of her feet from the dirt and grime she stood in to reach the dark figure.

"Mom...I messed up again…"

Barely catching Suyin's faint words, Kuvira brought herself to a sudden halt; the momentum of her body still wanting to continue forward. Grasping control, she inched closer, rolling her feet with stealth like silence. Now she was more interested in what Suyin had to say, than instantly running in and disrupting the woman's solitary moment with a confrontation.

But something was off.

It was never this easy sneaking up on Suyin. You had to be practically floating, or a pretty good distance away for the master bender not to notice you.

And the fact that the guard stood only a yard or so away, meant that something definitely wasn't right.

Coming to a complete stop, Kuvira's focus drifted up from the back of Suyin's head, to the god-like statue of Toph standing over the lower half of the city; the statue the woman below her sat fixated on.

Toph always loved it. It fed her ego to have an immortalized image of herself in not only Republic City but Zaofu as well. Even if she couldn't directly see the large stone statues, it still meant something to her just to see its shadowy shape through the eyes of her bending. And then it also stood as a reminder to the citizens of Zaofu, telling them to never forget the hands that first forged the art of metal bending, later making it possible for the sub-skill to be taught to all.

The statued image of the world's greatest Earth Bender meant something different to everyone who saw it…or, lived under it. For Suyin it was something to live up to, giving her strength and determination to be better each day. After the terror she'd been as a kid then teenager, those goals she'd set were some of the small ways she could repay her debt. Every day was an opportunity to give back for her ungrateful and selfish past.

But now, even the inanimate stone statue seemed to look down on her; the strength and courage it once provided, replaced by disappointment and shame.

"…You'd probably yell at me like you used to…I'm sure Lin would love to see that again." Suyin scoffed, giving a wry smile at her own words.

Kuvira stood, listening to Suyin speak with a creased brow; her feet backtracking a couple steps to hide her image in the shadows. She just wasn't sure what to make of this vulnerable Suyin.

Her voice didn't quiver, didn't shake. But the grief the matriarch expressed was genuine. She really believed that what she walked in on back at the apartment, was a legitimate scene of infidelity.

"…I know you'd tell me how stupid I am to ruin my own family, by making the same mistakes I've made in the past." Suyin looked down. "Then you'd tell me that I never learned, I never grew up, I've always been like this and always will be." She sighed, having heard that lecture from Toph so many times before. "Bataar's right..." She hesitated to admit. "…What have I done…We've been married for twenty years, and I'm breaking our family apart over an irresponsible relat-" Suyin stopped, correcting herself in the process. "…_mistake_ that I _never_ should have allowed to happen." Suyin caught the stray tears that managed to fall through her narrowed eyes, wiping them away with her fingertips.

Her glare softened. "I guess being a bad parent runs in the family, huh?" She paused a second. "I'm sure with me, you figured it'd happen sooner or later." She wiped away a couple more tears. Turning onto her back, she sat in silence, waiting as though the wall behind her would reach around her and become the warming comfort she needed. Oddly enough, the first thing her mind did was venture back, recalling the consoling essence of the guard's embrace.

The matriarch's head tilted back as her eyes slowly closed. "All of this pain could've been avoided…I think knowing that is the worst part." She swallowed down the lump in her throat. "But I chose to ignore everything..."

Suyin's words were faint, not meant for the ears of others, and certainly not for her hidden audience. She paused, hesitant to speak truth she denied for years. "…because I'm too selfish to care."

Her eyes opened, closing once more before the tears welling within them could fall again. "What do I do…I can't ruin this family…I can't leave Bataar."

Kuvira felt a stab in the chest at Suyin's words. The woman she loved still loved her husband. But what did she expect? Suyin was never hers to begin with. She only temporarily "borrowed" her for a few years, and a couple dozen nights.

Suyin's place was still with Bataar, and always would be.

Who was she to think that she could rip a mother of five out of a twenty-year marriage? No amount of charm or sex could do that…she'd be nothing but a fool to think it would.

Kuvira stayed silent for a long time, standing in place behind Suyin; her mind contemplating everything she managed hear. But now, without a second thought, her feet drew her closer to the woman on the ground below her.

"Well…" Kuvira's eyes stayed locked on Suyin. "I'm sorry you feel that way."

Hearing the guard's voice come from above her, Suyin's eyes went wide before quickly narrowing into a dangerous glare, staring up at the darkened sky squished between the tall alley walls. Lost in her own turmoil, one of the world's greatest earth benders never noticed Kuvira walk up behind her.

"Leave me alone."

"Sorry you think everything's been a mistake." Ignoring Suyin's warning, Kuvira stepped closer, coming to a stop just a foot away. She lifted her head, gazing out at Toph's statue for a second, then back to Suyin. "It isn't to me." Kuvira slowly crouched down beside her; her eyes set on the drying trail of tears left on Suyin's face. They glistened in the glow of the white city lights. She wanted to wipe them away, but wasn't an idiot. She wasn't about to tempt Suyin into lashing out in her simmering state; the whole aura around the woman feeling unstable and ready to burst.

Kuvira could see her pain, and feel her frustration. Although, it was a bit pathetic if Kuvira had to be honest, to see the great leader of Zaofu, sitting against a wall in a dirty alley.

After everything the guard had watched Suyin go through over the years, reverting back to some childish form of sulking was not the way she thought Suyin would have reacted.

A heated confrontation she would have expected, but this...she wasn't prepared for.

"I love _you_. Yun doesn't mean anything to me." Kuvira mentally kicked herself for how harsh that sounded. "Well, she is a friend…but nothing more." She reached out and touched Suyin's shoulder. "I-"

"Get your hand off of me." Suyin seethed; her body tensed under Kuvira's grasp, but she didn't move.

Feeling the guard respect her wishes, she turned her head to gaze back out toward the city, her brow never relenting its furrowed crease.

Now she could personally empathize with how Bataar felt when she had tried to reach out to him, only to watch him recoil from her touch. Suyin didn't flinch or recoil away from Kuvira, but the rampaging thoughts of how the guard's hands could've intimately held onto another woman, didn't make her feel good, and did nothing to console her mind.

"Suyin-"

"_**Save it**_." Suyin forced through clenched teeth as she shoved Kuvira away, dropping the guard onto her back. "I don't want to hear anything you have to say."

Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Kuvira slowly sit up on her elbows.

Rising to her feet, she left Kuvira gazing up at her from the ground below. She didn't care about the guard's discomforted groan when she lifted her back from the ground. She didn't even look down, not wanting to give Kuvira anything resembling hope by connecting their eyes. Her own resolve was too fragile for it anyways.

To her, Kuvira didn't deserve even the slightest of glances. No, Suyin wanted her to feel the consequences of her infidelity, if not only to momentarily understand the broken feeling of something irreparably damaged. Just like her relationship was with Bataar.

Of course, with time those splintered emotions could be healed. But the mind could never un-see what the eyes saw. It was true for Bataar, and now true for her too. All Suyin could focus on was the image of the younger woman on top of Kuvira. But why did she even care? She technically wasn't supposed to. Her thoughts should have been focused on how she was going to fix her family, and fix her marriage. But ironically…they weren't.

Instead her thoughts lingered on the moment she walked in on. Then they tormented her by going a step further, adding the fake hallucination of a searing kiss and meshing bodies to a moment in which neither had happened. Her agitated thoughts wouldn't let her mind rest. She even pondered over the possibilities of what could've happened had she not caught them when she did, while their clothes were still on.

Walking to the end of the alley, Suyin extended an arm out the wall and looked over her shoulder. "I've risked everything to be with you…and you decided to move on in less than a day."

Kuvira hung her head, an irritated grin stretching across her face as Suyin stepped into the street, disappearing around the wall's corner. "You've got to be kidding me Suyin." Kuvira whispered and stood, following after her.

Rounding the corner, Kuvira jogged, catching up to the distancing woman. Out of bad habit, her eyes travelled down Suyin's backside; the woman's lean muscled physique made even more prevalent through absence of her typically loose clothing.

For just a moment, Kuvira's thoughts edged in a raunchier direction, the guard wishing Suyin had been on top of her instead of Yun. Had that been the case, the entire situation would have played out very differently. But that aside, all Kuvira really wanted was to hold her, feeling lucky to have a woman as great as her by her side. Suyin was someone she couldn't afford to lose; she meant too much.

Kuvira couldn't hold in her endearing smile, and was thankful the older woman was turned the other way. Knowing Suyin, she probably would have thought she wasn't taking her serious. "Suyin-"

"I already know what you're going to say." Suyin stopped and looked over her shoulder. "It wasn't what I thought, right?"

"Well…" Kuvira raised her eyebrow. "…It wasn't. I-"

"You sure did look pretty comfortable with her."

Kuvira let out a light sigh and looked down. "You're ridiculous." She knew her words were a mistake the second they left her mouth. She almost didn't want to look up, knowing she'd find Suyin facing her with a menacing stare.

But the look she came to see on Suyin's face wasn't an angry narrowed glare, but instead something worse, something along the line of condescending. Suyin was pulling rank, looking down at her like she had spoken out of place.

"_I'm_ ridiculous?" Suyin used her hand to gesture to herself.

Kuvira nodded in silent honesty.

A scoff came from Suyin. "This _ridiculous_ person made you who you are."

Kuvira's brow slowly furrowed as she watched Suyin turn back around. The matriarch's words had hit a nerve, coming too close to her feelings for comfort. And now the flicker of what was once a soft flame born out of irritation, turned into a brimming, yet still tame blaze that was waiting to ignite into a full-fledged inferno.

"I think it's best that you don't forget who your boss is."

Kuvira stood stilled for a moment. "That never seemed to matter before." Her infuriation only grew as Suyin ignored her and started to walk ahead.

Reeling her anger in with a dismissing sigh, Kuvira looked down to her dirty bare feet. Suyin was only talking that way because she was hurt. The guard knew she didn't mean any of it, even if her words were convincing enough to gain a rise out of her.

* * *

_**A.N. This, and the next part might be a little lame/OOC/OTT, but we gotta make it through in order to get to the good stuff. lol. **_

_**P.S. Part 2 up soon (It's longer lol )**_


	6. The Longest Night- Part 2

**A.N. Part 2**

* * *

**Previously: **_Reeling her anger in with a dismissing sigh, Kuvira looked down to her dirty bare feet. Suyin was only talking that way because she was hurt. The guard knew she didn't mean any of it, even if her words were convincing enough to gain a rise out of her._

* * *

**The Longest Night-Part 2**

"Su…"

Suyin continued to walk, disregarding the worn out frustration in the guard's voice.

"**Su…**"

Suyin's brow furrowed even more. Her head was starting to throb, and Kuvira wouldn't even let her have just _one_ momentary reprieve from the stressful situation.

"Come on I wasn't going-"

"OK FINE!" Suyin threw her hands up, feeling forced to relent. Turning around, she looked into Kuvira's eyes. "I'm giving you your chance. _Explain _to me what I saw." She waited a moment, watching the guard's wide eyes look down and search the ground.

"Uh W-"

"Come on…I'm waiting." Suyin interrupted without letting Kuvira get anything out. "Give me whatever crap you've made up."

At Suyin's harsh words, Kuvira froze; her mind abandoning any thought of an explanation, as that boiling anger from earlier returned once again.

She knew Suyin too well. She should've known not to get her hopes up. Suyin wasn't really open to hearing any explanations. In her eyes, they'd all be struck down as fake or invalid. That's just how she was when she'd reached the level of anger she was at now. And that meant nothing would get through to her.

The only way to break through Suyin's defensive barrier, was to wait it out. But the more Suyin tested and pushed Kuvira's limits, the less likely it was that waiting would be the guard's go to option.

Suyin scoffed in disgust. "I knew you didn't have anything worth listening to." She watched Kuvira's jaw lock and her mouth set in a thin line, but pressed forward with her scathing words nonetheless. "You know what, if you want some young ditz of a woman, then go ahead. This is a waste of my time."

Kuvira closed the eyes under her furrowing brow and turned her head away. She wanted yell, throwing Suyin's own words back at her, asking her why she was standing in the middle of the street with her, if everything was really such a waste.

But she didn't strike back.

Instead, Kuvira tried to push out Suyin's insults and simmer down, by constantly reminding herself to be patient; a skill she was already lacking in.

"Su…" She warned softly, hearing Suyin give a wry laugh in the background.

"This is all so trivial." Suyin looked away and rambled on, trampling over any feelings of the guard next to her, without so much as a care. "I can't even believe I'm going through this." Pacing back and forth in front of Kuvira, she continued, throwing her hands up in exasperation. "I can't believe…" She stopped, staring down at the ground. "I can't believe I'm falling apart over something so…so-"

"**SO WHAT?"** Kuvira looked up and shot back; her eyes livid, her jaw clenching behind her teeth. "Huh? So _what_ Suyin?"

Advancing toward the backing woman, seizing her arm with a rough yank, Kuvira pulled Suyin within inches of her. "You better tell me now because I'm going be a lot angrier if I have to find out later."

Suyin stayed silent, her surprised expression fading, as her brow furrowed the longer she looked into Kuvira's eyes; a cool gust of wind blowing between them, tousling her grey hair to the side and back. She tried to pull her arm out of the guard's grip, but Kuvira had locked onto her tight. And when she figured out that pulling was futile, Suyin shoved Kuvira back, being granted her release. "What have you got to be angry about?" She looked at Kuvira. "Nothing has changed for you. _I _have to deal with this, _everything_ falls back on me. It's my husband, and my kids who will be hurt, while you have the freedom to run off with someone else." Suyin turned her back to the guard, moving further up the hill without caring if Kuvira followed. "It isn't fair." She whispered.

"_Life_ isn't fair." Kuvira responded through gritted teeth, catching the matriarch's whisper. Quickly striding closer and closer to Suyin, Kuvira lunged forward, grabbing the woman's arm again to stop her. "And if you would just SHUT UP AND LISTEN…" Kuvira took hold of Suyin's other arm, making sure she couldn't escape this time.

Suyin's hands went out in front of her, pushing just below the guard's collarbone. Feeling the tremble of Kuvira's hands around her upper arms, Suyin let her fight die. There was no use trying to work against Kuvira, that only made the guard try harder. Staring into the guard's furious emerald eyes, Suyin waited for whatever came next. She may have given up quarreling with Kuvira, but her arms stayed stretched out, and her hands pressed to the guard's chest, fighting against every little twitch and flex of the muscle beneath her grasp.

This was a first. Never had Kuvira gotten this angry with her, lashing out as she did. Searching the guard's face, Suyin watched the crease in her brow loosen as her eyes slowly softened, in what was a twist of the matriarch's expectations.

"…I could explain everything." Kuvira finished softly, looking at Suyin for another second before she sighed, letting her go. "You are so frustrating sometimes." Kuvira glanced around, running a hand through her bangs to push them from her face.

Noticing a light shine out of her peripheral vision, Suyin broke her eyes away from Kuvira and looked up, catching the yellow glow coming from a second floor apartment window.

So wrapped up in their boisterous argument, both forgot that they were still standing, or rather fighting in the middle of the city's street. Suyin, Zaofu's leader, almost yelling the details of her illicit affair with the decades younger captain for all to hear.

"We can't do this out here." Suyin turned her back to Kuvira once again, heading up the street. "Come on." She ordered the guard to follow in a flat emotionless tone.

Glancing over, Kuvira looked up, catching the same sight of the fully lit window, and without protest she followed Suyin. "Su-"

Suyin whipped around, her body in a sidelong view. "What part of we can't do this out here did you** not** understand?" She glared down at Kuvira from the road's incline. Sizing the guard's slightly confounded backward lean, Suyin glanced to the side and turned back around, resuming her forward march. "The last thing I need is a media scandal."

After a moment of complete silence, Kuvira sighed. Suyin was being even more infuriating than normal. Sure she had plenty of reasons to be worked up and on edge, but it really did nothing to help their situation. Right now they were each other's greatest ally, even more so than when their relationship was still under wraps.

Looking over to a nearby area not illuminated by street lamps, Kuvira spotted another alley way, squeezed in between two more of Zaofu's towering skyscrapers, sitting on the opposite side of the street from her apartment. However, the glass paneled metal frame buildings weren't apartments, but corporate office space businesses could rent out. And they were almost two of the most expensive buildings.

Grabbing Suyin's hand, the guard detoured the world leader from their nearing destination.

"Kuvira what are you doing?" Suyin's eyes went wide, but still she let herself be practically dragged into the dark alleyway by the taller woman in front of her. She tried to pry Kuvira's hand from her wrist, but by the time they made it deep enough into the alley, turning into only shadows themselves, Kuvira let her go.

The nearest source of light peeked into the alley's openings at either side, but didn't reach where they stood. Suyin could hardly see anything, even herself. The large enclosed metal and glass walkway stories above their heads, that connected both buildings, effectively blocked out most of even the moon's light. She could barely make out the features of Kuvira's face, but did feel the guard's eyes looking right at her.

If the person in front of her had been anyone but Kuvira, the surrounding environment would have definitely taken on a more unsettling feel.

"I know you're going through a lot right now."

Suyin listened to Kuvira's soft deep voice as she looked down.

"You're stressed, I get it." Kuvira paused. "But I need you to calm down, and listen to me." She waited a second for any acknowledgement from Suyin, a scoff even. But all she heard in the settling silence were the woman's soft breaths. "I'm not lying to you about Yun. And I know you know that."

"How?" Came Suyin's clipped tone as her eyebrows knitted together.

"Because when have I ever lied to you?" Reaching out, Kuvira took the dark hand she knew could only be Suyin's. "When have I ever given you a chance to doubt where I stand in this?" Kuvira heard what to her sounded like a shaky sigh come from the woman in front of her. Memorizing the location of Suyin's arm as a guide in the dark, Kuvira let go of Suyin's hand, feeling blind as she gently felt her way to Suyin's face; her hands moving up from Suyin's shoulders, into the curves of her neck, before finally sliding their way to the matriarch's face.

The guard's questions made Suyin think, if not recall the entirety of the past they shared together.

She thought about the kiss in the office years ago, and how everything, every meeting, innocent touch, or deep conversation before that, led up to where they stood now.

Her mind pushed back even further, pondering over the young quiet but occasionally rowdy kid Kuvira used to be, in a time where their relationship was built solely off of trust and support; a full decade before the added rapture of love got in the way.

Kuvira was right. The kid who had tried to steal from her in Ba Sing Se almost twenty years ago, had since never given her a reason to doubt her decision for taking Kuvira in. But then again, what made her take the chance of bringing in a kid she knew nothing about?

That question made her wonder why she took Kuvira off the street to begin with. There were hundreds of orphans and street kids scattered throughout Ba Sing Se. And although that fact may have saddened her as a then new mother, it wasn't ever enough to warrant taking the actions she did with Kuvira; the little girl's angry emerald eyes captivating her in an inexplicable way. She couldn't place what she saw in them. Whether it was potential or something else, Suyin didn't know. She didn't fully understand it. She couldn't figure out what compelled her to leave the protection of the Earth Kingdom palace that particular night, just days before her return to Zaofu, taking only a native Ba Sing Se guard with her as she wandered off, passing affluence then squalor in the streets, just to find the little girl whose eyes haunted her dreams.

That night, sitting in an abandoned lot behind a makeshift fire, Suyin confronted a newfound epiphany. Once again looking into the little girl's -now named Kuvira- eyes, she saw the same darkness that once plagued her own, years ago, when her life was still in Republic City. She took Kuvira in, hoping to watch the girl's negativities fade away; hoping to give her the happiness she was forced to find on her own.

Kuvira never assimilated into the Beifong family 100 percent. Used to taking care of herself, she enjoyed her individuality. To her, Bataar was a figure of authority, as well as Suyin. And all the kids were friends, not siblings. But Suyin was always special. She wasn't just an adult to her, she too was a friend, if not something even closer to an admired savior after taking her off the streets, and opening her eyes to a better life.

From day one in the Beifong household, Kuvira had always stood by Suyin. From visiting the matriarch in her office during the remainder of her childhood years, to walking around the estate with her on a daily basis into her teenage years. Kuvira never strayed far. She ran off every so often, to play with the very few street kids in Zaofu, but Suyin always caught her, reprimanding her soon after the frightened beating of her heart had settled.

There weren't many times she disciplined Kuvira, but in the event she was forced to, Suyin made her disappointment clear, punishing the young girl with some kind of monotonous busy work as a lesson, and also as an example to her own kids. But in truth, her anger came from the fear of losing Kuvira more than anything.

Kuvira was more to Suyin than a token kid. She wasn't a street rat she felt sorry for, but something more. An unexpected, yet unconditional support system, she would watch grow and mature into the steadfast guard standing before her now.

However, the older Kuvira got, the more confusing and complex their bond became. The Captain making her feelings clear with one daring and very surprising late evening kiss. That single kiss threw them into the inescapable labyrinth they stood stagnant in now; neither being able to find a way out.

Finding Suyin's downturned chin, Kuvira used both her hands to lift Suyin's face up towards her. Under the palms resting against Suyin's cheeks, Kuvira felt the wet trail of tears already fallen. "You probably know…and understand better than I do, how much I love you, what I'd do for you, and what I'd give for you." Kuvira stopped, giving her words a moment to set in. "These next few days aren't going to be easy…In fact, these next few weeks won't be easy. But I won't make you go through it alone…I never have."

Wet drops of Suyin's fresh tears fell over and ran down the backs of Kuvira's hands. The display of Suyin's pain making even the guard's eyes water.

She felt helpless. There wasn't much she could do for Suyin, except stick to her original plan of leaving; an act that stood as nothing but a double edged sword. It was for the best, but she knew in the short-run it would make Suyin feel even worse, no matter how she tried to rationalize it.

Pulling Suyin's forehead to her chest, Kuvira wrapped her arms around the anguished woman; this near hopeless side of Suyin being something she'd never before seen.

"Today has been a shit day."

Suyin's voice, or rather her abnormal cursing broke Kuvira from her wandering trance.

"Yeah, it has been." Kuvira smiled. "And I should get fired for telling you to shut up."

"_Yeah_, you should."

Kuvira grinned hearing the light smile in Suyin's voice.

"I'm tired Kuvira." The happiness just present in the matriarch's last statement, dulled as Suyin wrapped her fingers around the guard's belt, keeping her head down. "I just want this day to end." She pressed her cheek to Kuvira's chest, her hands following the curve of the leather belt, until they met behind the taller woman's back.

Sliding her hands to Suyin's shoulders, Kuvira pushed back, running her fingers gingerly over the top of the matriarch's head. "Let's go inside." Breaking from Suyin's grasp, she nudged the woman to head out of the alley in front of her; the guard staying in the back just to keep her concerned, and somewhat reddened eyes on Suyin.

Stepping out of the dark, the pair walked the short distance to the apartment in complete silence. Their hands, or rather Suyin's hand, refusing to release their interlocking grasp just this one time, as they made the courageous trip back to the apartment together.

Kuvira trailed behind the older woman, surprised that Suyin didn't let her hand go when she tried to pull it away after leaving the confines of the alley. She gazed over the woman in front of her, then glanced behind herself, to the dark second floor window where the light had been. The near iron-like grip around her hand, told her Suyin still hadn't completely simmered down. But before Kuvira could continue her pondering anymore, her hand was released, and she looked up.

They were back; stopped on the porch, standing in front of the ornate apartment door.

Suyin stood, her eyes dropping to the doormat. Had circumstances been just right, a fleeting stint of déjà vu would have passed over her. But this time, not all was the same. Her typically rapturous emotions had been suppressed, weighed down by the day's disastrous events. On a normal night, the guard would've opened the door before she could even knock. And on _particularly_ good days, Kuvira would lift her off her feet, pulling her in, past the door's threshold, and into a hug. All before she even had time to sputter out a surprised hi.

"Suyin?"

But tonight wouldn't be one of those blissful nights, the day having taken its toll on both, and seemingly her more than Kuvira.

Turning around, Suyin placed a hand against Kuvira's chest, her focus not on the guard's eyes, but instead glancing over the blowing trees and other apartment style houses in the distance behind her.

Suyin didn't move, and didn't speak. All she needed was a moment to blankly watch the world around her, without distressful thoughts popping into her head. Turning back halfway, Suyin set her hand on the door knob, only to remember it was all platinum, like so many of the doors in Zaofu were.

"Where are the keys?"

"It should be open."

Dropping her hand from Kuvira, Suyin trusted her, and turned the knob. Sure enough, the door opened. She stepped past the threshold, and into the empty apartment. Slowly walking across the marble floor, she ran a hand through her hair with a sigh, heading straight for the bedroom without a second thought.

Chancing a glance to the ground, Kuvira stopped in her advance inside to stoop down, picking up a brown leather bound book lying next to the porch door mat. She'd given Opal the book to borrow, and now it was back in her possession just a few days later. _'Maybe she didn't like it. Or maybe she just read it really fast.'_ Kuvira shrugged and flipped through the book. Opal normally left some kind of note inside, signaling her approval or disapproval of the book. But this was the one time she didn't. _'No note. That's strange.'_ Kuvira mulled over that thought for a second, staring at the closed book in her hand. Looking up into the apartment, she abandoned her wanderings and moved in.

In all honesty, she half-expected Yun to be sitting, waiting patiently on the couch for their return, only to make awkward conversation with the most likely uncomfortable matriarch once they were back.

Kuvira could already envision the cold look she'd get from Suyin, as her eyes drifted over to hers, telling her to get Yun out of the apartment.

A tired, yet more importantly stressed Suyin, would only play cordial for so long, before she'd get irritated and start to snap.

Kuvira stopped in the apartment and scanned the living room, hesitantly looking over to the sitting area. When her eyes finally set on the couches, she realized that not only was Yun missing, but the trail of armor on the floor had vanished as well.

"Yun?"

Walking over to the couch the guard had been sitting on, Kuvira's eyes caught a small piece of paper left on the coffee table. She picked up the paper, recognizing Yun's overly ornate handwriting in an instant.

_So, I thought it'd be best if I made myself scarce by the time you got back._

_Don't wanna piss Boss off even more, or else, it'll be MY ass on door duty for a year_

…_Maybe longer. Anyways, take care of that…shoulder._

_P.S. I'm gonna be super mad if you leave without saying bye. Like come on,_

_The least you could do is leave a damn note. Don't be a bitch._

_Love ya,_

_Yun_

Chuckling to herself, Kuvira tossed the book in her hand onto the sofa, and made her way to the bedroom after placing the note back on the table. At the door she stopped, her grin diminishing into a tame smile, as she looked around the corner to find Suyin lying in the middle of the bed, using her arms as a makeshift pillow.

Stepping further into the room, Kuvira unbuckled her belt, not bothering to retrieve the rest of her forgotten armor still sitting on the sofa. She draped the brown leather belt over the foot of the bed, and sat down beside Suyin's still shoe-clad feet. Lifting up her own bare foot, she grimaced looking at the black dirt covering her sole; that sight bringing back a reminiscence of her days running the streets with the other homeless kids.

Out there, in the twisted back alleys and hidden lots of Ba Sing Se, she first discovered that metal could be controlled, just as any element. She wasn't sure why or how. And it wasn't until meeting Suyin, that she would formally be introduced to the art and process of metal bending.

Kuvira smiled as she looked down into the green patterned carpet on the floor. Time had faded away many of her childhood memories, but a few stuck with her. She still remembered how they met, and how Suyin brought her to Zaofu with the promise of training her to _properly _metal bend.

Close to two decades later, she'd mastered metal bending, and still stood loyal beside the same woman who had given her a new life, and made good on her promise. Giving a quick glance over her shoulder to the woman lying on the bed behind her, Kuvira's smile never dulled. It was unremitting. It was enduring. It was grateful; the day's unforgiving torment not even strong enough to break it. The smile she gave Suyin was her truest, as well as her happiest.

Dropping her foot to the floor, Kuvira flopped back onto the bed. "Hey." She reached out, resting her hand on Suyin's thigh; the muffled "hmm" coming from the woman above her, told her Suyin was still awake.

"Yun really is just a friend." Kuvira paused. "What you walked in on was nothing but a trip and fall at a bad time."

Suyin listened to Kuvira with her eyes closed, but didn't respond. She didn't really feel up to discussing the ill-fated events of the day any further. And at the moment, was even willing to let it all go in return for sleep.

"Yun is a…_touchy_ person. I've had to get used to that myself." Kuvira talked just to talk. She figured Suyin probably wasn't anywhere near sleep. But even if the night owl of a woman miraculously was, at least she would be relieved to have her explanation off her chest.

With a strained groan, Kuvira sat up in reluctance; her body aching a little, willing itself to rest. Scooting back on the palms of her hands until she could see Suyin's resting face, Kuvira lifted her hand. "Get some sleep." She said in a soothing tone, running her fingers across Suyin's temple as she raked back some of the matriarch's soft grey hair. "I'm gonna go shower." Kuvira ceased her hand's motion, and hopped off the bedside, heading straight towards the bathroom at the expansive room's opposite end.

Back on the bed, Suyin opened her eyes, turning her head more to face the light coming from the window beside her. Once she realized that she already missed the guard's touch, she knew that giving Kuvira up was never an option. Her angry words in the street meant nothing. Kuvira was telling her the truth…and she always did.

* * *

**A.N. Hope you enjoyed :)**


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